


stale memes and gingerbread dreams

by Skyuni123



Series: 17 (should have been 25 but i messed up) Days of a Self-Flagellating Christmas [4]
Category: Internet Personalities, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Baking, Baking Video(s) (Phandom), Bakingmas, Christmas, Fluff and Humor, M/M, gingerbread
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: Dan, Phil, and the 2k17 Gingerbread House Building Challenge.(Or, the boys are less-than-average at baking. As per.)





	stale memes and gingerbread dreams

**Author's Note:**

> prompt was 'gingerbread house'

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

“Whoa there, Obi-Wan Kenobi, chill out.” Dan moves to throw a packet of sprinkles at Phil, but he’s not actually within seeing distance.

“Have you and I ever cooked something that’s turned out well? Ever?” Phil emerges from the hall, dressed in an appropriately festive apron. He tosses a black apron to Dan, who unfolds it and looks at it with some aplomb.

“I’m not wearing this.”

“Yes you are.”

 

Mere moments later, through the insurmountable power of editing, we see Dan wearing the apron. It’s completely black, with the caption, “let me take an #elfie” on it.

 

Suddenly his refusal makes a tad more sense.

 

“Stale memes and as dark as your soul. Very you." Phil turns to the camera, obviously very chuffed with his work. 

“Shut up, rat.” Dan huffs, elbows Phil in the ribs and turns to the camera as well. “What are we doing today, Philly?”

“We’re making a gingerbread house!” Phil picks up the gingerbread house and shakes it around with some vigor.

“...Which will likely be in splinters now.” Dan says, smirking. “That one’s on you, pal.”

“Pal?” Phil places the box back down onto the counter with far less enthusiasm.

“I could always call you rat again if you’d like.”

“Yeah, shut up.”

 

They grin to the camera, very aware that they’re still being filmed, and get to work.

 

Half an hour later, they’ve built something that is  _ passable  _ as the foundations of a gingerbread house, even if it doesn’t quite resemble one. Dan, somehow, has green icing on his nose.

There are splinters of gingerbread all over the counter. Our boys, loveable as they may be, are very terrible at baking. (Even if said baking only requires over-exuberance with tube icing.)

 

“You’re a terrible architect, Phil.” Dan says fondly, gripping onto the roof of the gingerbread house with one hand while Phil tries in vain to secure it on. They’ve been doing this for  **a while.**

“You’re not doing much to help.”

“I am too!” 

 

The roof moves into place, and thankfully,  _ mercifully,  _ it doesn’t move. They’ve finally done it.

 

“Terrible, huh?” Phil says, smugly, and places the icing tube down on the counter in the manner in which a warrior would put down a sword after a battle. 

“Your mum’s terrible.”

“Shut up!” Phil shoves him and Dan stumbles off balance, managing to smear the icing over more of his nose as he falls.

He pops up from behind the counter mere seconds later, apparently still unaware of the icing. “Actually she’s not. She’s lovely. It’s her son that’s the problem.” 

“I’ll show you who’s the problem.” Phil replies, but there’s absolutely no malice in it. 

“Try me, Lester.” Dan growls and hides below the counter again and Phil  _ conveniently  _ ducks out of the frame at the same time.

 

There’s an abrupt, jarring jumpcut. 

 

“Hey, hey kids, we’re decorating now!” The decorative contents of the package are spread out across the countertop, next to the gingerbread house which looks a bit worse for wear. Dan opens a package of gummy sweets and points a finger at Phil. “If you eat all of these before we’re done I swear I’ll end you, Lester.”

The icing is still on Dan’s face. It’s just… spread a bit. 

Yeah. Like that. Except green. 

 

Phil blinks innocently. “Why would I eat them all?”

“Why would you -  _ why would you eat them all?  _ Who ate all of my cereal this week?”

“Me.” Phil replies, with very little shame.

“I don’t know why you don’t just buy your own.” Dan mutters, and very deliberately starts placing gummy sweets onto the smudgy thatched roof of the gingerbread house.

“Because you’d miss me eating it.” Phil says, under his breath, but not so quietly that it’s not picked up by the cameras.

 

Dan raises his head and glances at him. The pair lock glances, almost unknowingly, for a few seconds as something darker and more serious passes between them.

 

“aNYWAY.” Dan clears his throat wildly and goes back to placing jubes.

 

Phil opens his package of sprinkles and starts sprinkling wildly, with very little concern for Dan’s meticulous pattern.

“PHIL LESTER!”

  
  


Soon enough, the decorating is done. They are out of jubes, aside from the few that Phil is visibly hoarding in his front pocket, and the gingerbread house looks… interesting.

It’s a fun cross between a rainbow and Dadaism. 

 

“Well, what do we do now, do we eat it?” Dan asks, apparently still unaware of the icing.

“We can’t eat it!” Phil replies, visibly taken-aback. “It’s  _ art.” _

“It’s a fun cross between a rainbow and Dadaism. It’s hardly art.”

“No-one is going to get that joke.”

“True.” Dan sighs. “Are you seriously saying we can’t eat it? We spent over an  _ hour  _ on this thing. I could have been wallowing or on tumblr or something.” 

“Maybe just a bit…” Phil reconsiders. “Not the roof.” 

“Fine.” He whines, and picks a piece off the side. Judging by the expression on his face, the gingerbread is far from good.

 

In the end, it’s Phil that destroys the gingerbread house, by pulling too vigorously at the edge of the roof section and managing to collapse the entire thing inwards. He stares at the mess he’s made, in shame.

 

“I spent two hours on that.”

“ _ We  _ spent two hours on that.” Phil reminds him.

“I’m not angry, Phil, I’m just disappointed.” He’s obviously teasing.

“Yeah, shut up,  _ mate.”  _ Phil pokes him in the shoulder with a finger. “You’ve had icing all over your face for the entirety of the video, by the way.”

 

Dan moves and squints at his face in the oven door. His eyes widen as he takes in the sight. 

 

“PHIL. LESTER!!”

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up at the [ tumbs ](http://villainousfilmmaker.tumblr.com)


End file.
